Most likely, they'd been busy still discussing the pros and cons of our big decision. I didn't know whether or not I could cut through all our hand-wringing and second-guessing in one fell swoop, but Adrienne's last speculation about what really terrified DJ had been on my mind for the entire drive home, and I wanted to know if she was right.I didn't say "hello" or otherwise greet the girls. I didn't ask inane questions or casually approach them. Instead, once they noticed my approach I simply came to a stop five feet away from the couch and gave my fiancée a steady look. And I asked her, "Do you believe that I'll love you no matter what?"DJ heard the weight in my words and took a moment before responding. She understood that I didn't want a knee-jerk 'of course' response. And in a hesitant, wavering voice, she replied, "I want to believe." Do you worry that I'll break up with you if you have an abortion?"Again, DJ took a moment to consider her response before replying. "Yes..." she. Still nothing.I collapsed onto my butt. Tears flowed down my cheeks.What was I to do? I stared at the lifeless body of my father. I couldn't leave him there.Time passed. How long, I don't know. I grabbed Dad under the armpits and hoisted him to a sitting position. It made me sick when his head fell onto his shoulder. But I couldn't leave him there. Draping his unbroken arm over my back, I dug my shoulder into his gut and gritted my teeth as I stood up. Carrying him like a fireman would, he folded over my shoulder.I could do it. I had to do it.I started my trek back. Thick vegetation scratched my arms and legs as I barreled through. The only thought was making it back and not leaving him. It became easier when the growth thinned out, but he was getting heavier. I plodded along. One time the weight caused me to drop to my knee. I rested, huffing and puffing, and then forced myself back up.I reached the place Maria and I had made love. I walked a little faster. I came upon my fishing.
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